A Strong Woman Just Is

She has no need to proof anything. I never liked the term, Power Woman. If someone called me a Power Woman, I cringed. It just felt awkward. It did not feel right to me – like a cat being stroked against its hair.

I also never celebrated International Woman’s Day before. I used to think it was women barricading the streets and fighting for equality. I felt those women just wanted to be like men.

This year, however – for the first time like in forever – I did celebrate International Women’s Day, and I even got some flowers. Yes, I have finally connected with my own inner strength.


I grew up in a patriarchal family. My father was King. This was very muck OK with me. I never had any problems with it.

During my childhood, I learnt that men and women are different. And that this is ok.

Teenage Years

During my teen years, I – of course – tried to fit in. I had a hard time fitting in and trying to please everyone, except for myself. I didn’t understand that I was meant to stand out.

I had some classmates who were warriors, female fighters. They wanted to prove to the world that women were better than men. This felt so wrong to me.

I’ve learnt that I come from a peaceful background. I do not have the warrior/fighter gene in me.

I also felt all along that women do not need to be better than men; we are Women. However, I would have never said so before.

I learnt that I did not want to be an emancipated woman, or not in the way they were described during the 80’s.


Yes, I embraced a patriarchic family model for myself. I was happy that I could stay home with my children. I always wanted to be a mom and I was glad that I did not have to go out and work and leave my children at daycare or a babysitter.

There were plenty of other moms out there who I felt looked down on me. “What are you doing?” they asked. I said, “I am a Mom.” They shook their heads and asked, “How can you be satisfied with just being a mom?” Some commented that they studied and had a college education they didn’t work so hard just to stay at home and be with kids.

For me, being a full-time, stay-at-home mom was very fulfilling and satisfying. Of course, I had my moments of frustration and boredom. Also, because I was a people-pleaser, I gave up too much of myself regularly, so I ran low on energy pretty often. Still, I enjoyed the moments I had with my kids.

I wanted to witness their first steps, their first teeth, their first words etc. I cried over the thought that a nanny would be the one to see it all for the first time.

Being a full-time Mom allowed me to more fully embrace my feminine side.


Later Years

During my marriage and especially after the breakup, I had to handle everything all on my own. I was responsible for my children and their well-being in all areas.

I often felt lonely and I was eager to have a protector, or a male companion, by my side who could help me carry the responsibilities.

I chose relationships for the wrong reasons, and I ended up pleasing others over myself and giving too much. (Relationship patterns)

One day I finally ended up looking within and reconnecting with my true self.

I learnt to trust my own strength. I learnt to do it myself again, and I was happy being independent.

I started to get in touch with my male side.


Oh, I often felt cold and tired – make that exhausted. My Acupuncture therapist told me that I did not have much Yang (male) energy.

I am not sure how it happened, but slowly – and step by step – I started to embrace my masculine side.

I started to rely on myself. I started to trust myself. I started to feel grown up and happy to be on my own.

This growth, combined with the ongoing healing (forgiveness and healing my past relationships), really helped me to become who I was meant to be.

Now, I can embrace my own male energies without feeling like I am trying to be a man.

I grew to be a whole woman, by myself. Yin and Yang combined. Female and Male Energies together.

Now I know

I know that I do not have to be like a man, nor do I have to be better than a man. It was never a competition anyway. All I have to do is to be ME.

By accepting ALL of me, I embrace my feminine and my masculine sides equally. I am strong and soft at the same time.

However, I am a woman who can stand her own ground. I am a woman who knows her own truth and a woman who can walk her own path.

This is what being a true Woman is all about: Embracing it all.

I still do not like the term Power Woman. Power has so much negativity surrounding it. We do not need power, we need LOVE.

Yes, I am a strong woman, who is deeply grounded/rooted and flexible, embracing all of who I am and walking my path in love.

I have learnt to just shine my light. I do not need to convince others to come to me. I do not need to go out there and rescue others. All I need to do is be a beacon of light and inspire others to shine.

We all have our own light to share. We are all magnificent beings, and we are all very beautiful souls.

We do not need to compare, as we all know we are ALL ONE.

I’m happy to be a whole, complete woman. That’s why I created my Palmy Healing Circle, so other women can embrace all of themselves too, and learn to stand tall and proud like a tree.

Sending you all warm hugs from my heart to yours,

Signature Caroline Palmy

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