Dear Leo,

You have taught us so much. 

When you arrived in our home as an about 2 year old wonderful cat and hearts in August 2009, we went through a separation and divorce, you helped me and my 3 young children especially during those hard times.

I am eternally grateful for your loving presence.

You were our healer cat, our amazing quiet accepting and loving cat, you always knew who needed you most and just quietly sat beside that person or laid in their bed, gently purring.

We watched you grow older, and older. We treasured our times with you.

During your last 6 days, we loved petting you, having you near, and we knew these were our last days, we made the most out of them, and hoped we would give you something back of all the care and love you have given us for 15 years. We were with you, gave you calm and peace when you took your last breath in your beloved garden. We are thankful for all the times with you, and that you could go on your own terms at your time, naturally. You were always an independent cat, going your way, you lost all the collars we put on you, till one day we decided to stop it, as we were afraid you might trap yourself. 

You taught us so many lessons on self care, on love, on walking your path, on being independent and doing your thing your way. 

Especially me. I had to learn so much on these topics and I am eternally grateful for the wisdom you shared with us.

And you are still sharing so many lessons even from the other side. 

Letting you go and move into the light has opened a big gap in our lives, and we cried and cried, we truly feel the grief of not having you here, we miss you, I am still looking for you, you are such a big part in our daily routine, it still feels weird, not to pet you, not to serve you your milk or food during the day, not to look out for you. Yes you opened a wide gap in our hearts.

And I remembered a Rumi Quote, ‘Pain is where the light enters’ and oh my has this been true for me. (The wound is where the light enters you is the quote, still my adaption above sounds good)

As you were such a big part of my separation and divorce journey, of course that part and lingering pain came up again. I have written my memoirs on this topic and now I am healing on another level yet again. 

I remember how that partner I had was not truly nice to you, and I swore that I will always listen to you, I trusted your instincts, only a person who loves my pets is a good person. Healing more of the wound of feeling alone, and unlovable, yet again. 

And then in all the pain and grief and hurt, I realised deep down there is another level of not being good enough, and yet again I had to heal parts of it again. 

I know your healing is not done, and there are so many more old deep wounds and topics coming up for me, that, thanks to you, I am now looking at again. 

Life is a journey, grief is a journey, healing is a journey, 

I am grateful I could take the time, you passed on Saturday, and I had the weekend off, so we could drive you to the animal cremation center, where they were so gentle with us, and you have arrived back home, your ashes in a beautiful blue globe with stars. It feels so right, to keep you close. Thank you

I needed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday as gentle days, as time to go within, as time to walk in nature as precious time just to be and heal. Again Rumi quotes, these pains you feel are messengers, listen to them. I took time to listen, as the cure for pain is in the pain (another Rumi Quote)

Your loss has touched me deeply, unlike anything, you were such an integral part of our everyday lives, and now you are dearly missed.

I know the lessons are never over, and you keep sending us healing and love from the other side, and you knew we were ready for it all. 

Thank you precious Leo for all you have given us and are still giving us

Deeply grateful for you

With love