Everything is a process…..
I used to be very organised and driven, then I became very laid back and much more in the flow, and every now and then I felt like I am only procrastinating and that I need to achieve more, and that’s when I rush to do things without being fully prepared.
Yes, I am still an achiever. Yes, I want to stick to my own deadlines and to be accountable.
We hear so much about accountability buddies, and that we have to do a lot, otherwise we are unworthy.
In all of my deadline frenzies, I forgot to listen to my soul within and to remember that it is all a process that I need to allow to unfold naturally.
It always starts with an idea. Mine was the wonderful, heartfelt idea of creating my Palmy Healing Circle. I knew it was what I, myself, needed, and that it would be right for all the beautiful souls I could reach.
It is an awesome idea, and, in order to make this idea come to life, rather than letting it remain a dream, I needed to apply myself to some practical tasks.
I needed to
- Get into the technical details of creating the circle
- Brainstorm about what I really wanted
- Think of ideas about how to present it
- And yes, finally present it to people
Yes, even the word deadline, itself, already says DEAD…
In order to get any idea off the ground and running, I felt it was necessary to set a deadline for myself. I spoke with an accountability partner and was all set to sprint to the finish line.
Going with the Moon cycles, I knew starting a new project on a New Moon or on the day after would be awesome. My project would grow along with the moon, and it was great because I would be talking about harnessing the power of the rhythm of the moon in my Palmy Healing Circle anyway.
So I set the deadline of March 10th for myself, and yes, my circle was ready by then. But was I?
I implemented all the technical details (you can read more about this journey in my blog post ‘How To Breathe Through Technical Difficulties‘ ), and I had a Sign Up page ready to go.
But my energy was not really in it.
I felt depleted.
It was also March two eclipses; the energy was intense, and I did not feel good about writing about my offer.
So I wrote a quick sign up note, just to have it ready, just to fulfill my deadline, just to feel accountable, and just have enough to be out there, but I was not really fully embracing it all.
Resting after the birth
After it was all out, you usually start promoting it. I, however, felt so exhausted and drained and tired, that I just birthed my Palmy Healing Circle, and all I wanted to do was take a rest.
Yes the eclipses did not help, and I had a lot to release too.
I needed rest after the birth, and I did not feel like cuddling my new baby and sharing it with the world.
I allowed myself the time to heal and grow. It was necessary. I was back in my own flow after setting targets that did not suit me.
Yes, of course, not many people wanted to join. I had over 100 views of my page, and not one person joined me in my circle.
Oh yes, I felt bad. I felt I was unworthy. I felt like I was doing everything all wrong, and I had no idea what to do differently.
I felt extra depleted. Why had I rushed towards my deadline, when there was nothing waiting for me at the finish line?
It is all about the energy. I know now and always knew. You get out of it what you put into it.
I knew I had not put much energy into my Palmy Healing Circle. Yes, of course, I nursed it; however, I was still a bit insecure about it.
I was not stepping up into my leadership role yet.
I felt intimidated – like I could not provide enough for the lovely people out there.
In a way, I was happy that not many signed up, as I feared I would be a failure.
My Palmy Healing Circle seemed too big to be true.
I meditated and meditated on my beautiful circle. I planted a seed in beautiful soul and saw it grow.
I embraced all the beautiful souls in my circle and really embraced my experience and my knowledge too.
I was finally ready to embrace my new role as leader and share my true vision for my Circle.
Embrace the process
In my hurry to make myself accountable, in my idea of having to have a deadline in order to really achieve something, I forgot that it is all a process.
I forgot to include my own growing time.
Whenever we start something new, we expand ourselves, we reach out, and we need to adjust to the new version.
It is a process that can’t be rushed. It does take time, and when we are ready, we will step into our new roles effortlessly.
What have I learnt
I learnt, again, to listen to my own gut feelings.
I was against setting a deadline. Everything in my body resisted the pushing, however, I felt I would never achieve anything if I did not deliver it soon enough.
I learnt that there is a right time for everything
The time is now. I rewrote my invitation to my Palmy Healing Circle.
I learnt to give myself a chance
Did I feel so badly about myself? Didn’t I see what I achieve each day? Why did I feel like I had to have a deadline to prove myself worthy?
I fared so well with being in the flow, with pondering ideas, and just letting things grow naturally – then all of a sudden, the urge to rush took over…
Everything is well
No matter what, everything is unfolding as it should have and it was a good experience to push myself, if only to learn there is a right time for everything and that all the pushing won’t help matters.
I love to be in the flow
I so love to be in the flow. I pushed and “shoulded” myself all of my life. Now it is time to ease into the flow and just keep going, one step at a time
I re-learnt how important it is for me to be in the flow and to wait for that wave to carry me ashore.
Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to end up at the right destination
Yes, it was ok to do it all back in March with support for my technical issues. I have it all ready now, so the hard part is over. All I needed to do was step into my circle and embrace all of you.
We learn so much about life and ourselves each day.
I enjoy this path very much.
Do you know how you work best?
Do you need deadlines or do you do better without?
Feel free to comment below to let me know about your own experience with deadlines versus working in the flow.