Do you know, what might help, when it happens again?
I had to really learn all my lessons over again last week when I got a phone call from my property manager. She told me that the landlord wanted to come by and show the house to a friend of his. My immediate thought was: “Oh no! He wants to sell the house! We have to move!” Fear struck me.
Ouch! The news was like a fist in my solar plexus (sternum region) and I felt pain and tightness immediately.
Even after all I’ve learnt over the last couple of years about staying calm and having positive expectations, I put myself in the hamster wheel of fearful thinking again.
Cleansing your thoughts
I knew immediately that I needed to get out of fearful thought mode. It is like a downward spiral.
What did I do? I started to talk positively. Instead of saying, “I do not want to move,” I said, “I love living here.”
I concentrated on all of the good points we have here: the soccer field just down from our house, a garden for our tortoises, nature next door for my walks, etc.
And anytime my mind flitted back into worry mode, I gently brought my focus back to something else, like my business, my kids, or cooking.
There was nothing I could do before he came around and showed the house and I could ask him what was going on.
I reminded myself that there would be plenty of time to worry after his visit, if need be. Now was not the time to worry over something that I didn’t know would be.
Take responsibility without blaming yourself
I realized immediately that I might have brought the house scare on myself with energetic vibrations. I’d been grumbling a bit over the house lately, as I felt weighed down by its size and the presence of the stuff that has collected in the basement. I was grumbling over the clear out I needed to do, but could not face. I was focusing on moving out into a smaller apartment, with much less stuff.
Yes, I will do that in 4 years, when my ex retires and his support money stops.
I noted that I was already “living” that time, and I had to remind myself that now is now and then is then, so my focus needed to be on the here and now. Now I have three kids that live at home. Now we need this space. Now we have the tortoises and the cat, and now we love it here in this house.
Have an attitude of gratitude
Feeling grateful for what you have just uplifts your energy, and makes such a difference. Be grateful for what you already have.
So I sat in my home – my big house – and was very grateful for the rooms, the furniture, nature, the garden,
I got a new attitude of appreciation. I stopped taking it all for granted.
Yes, it lifted me up! I did see the good in this house much more clearly again and stopped complaining and feeling weighed down.
It’s funny how often we only appreciate things when we think they’ll disappear.
Talk only to one or two friends
In my fear, I didn’t know who to talk to. I did not want to talk to many people about the issue, as it might just exaggerate the whole scenario. If only I worried about having to move, that would be one thing, but if I told 10 people, then the 10 people PLUS myself would worry about me having to. I did NOT want that to happen.
I also did not want to talk worry. I just wanted to share my concerns with someone, but then share a positive attitude with that person afterward – not much talking about the negative possibilities, but more getting it off my chest and then talk about what to do. I wanted someone to tell me to stay positive, focus on the outcome I wanted, and so forth.
When one of my friends wrote me and mentioned the visit might not be a good sign because the landlord probably wanted to show the house so he could sell it, I went straight back into fear mode – and I knew that I really had to unplug from all of the negativity and stay in the positive.
Yes, fear can strike over and over again.
It was hard not to show my fear to my kids. If they knew the landlord was coming, if they knew I feared being forced to move, they would be very anxious too.
Ask the Universe for help and guidance
I asked the Universe for help. I prayed to my Angels, “Please help me. I want to live in this house. It is awesome. It is perfect for my three kids and myself, plus the cat and the 9 tortoises, and for my business, Palmy Healing. It is light. It is close to the soccer field. I can go out for my daily walks in nature. I love it.”
I also sent some love into the house and surroundings. I bathed the house in beautiful pink light, so it was free and happy.
Trust and know all will be well, whatever the outcome
I also told my Angels that I knew that whatever outcome occurred would be the best for all of us. If the Universe had decided it was time to move, then it would be time to move, and I knew we would find the perfect new place. If the Universe wanted us to stay in our house, then we would stay. Either the landlord had no intention of selling or his friend would not like the house.
“Either way,” I told the Universe, “I will accept whatever is coming my way.”
The Angels see the bigger picture and always have your best interests at heart. Be open for all of life’s experiences. Detach yourself from expectations.
I learnt from previous experiences – even those as devastating as my break up was 6 years ago. I grew and learnt to appreciate the positive outcomes of even negative circumstances.
I am free now. I am happy. I’ve had time to reconnect with myself. These are the true gifts – things I would not have experienced were I still married to my ex.
If something is meant to be, it will come your way. When a door closes look around for a new door to open.
( I share how this house was waiting for us.)
Go out in nature for a good walk
Of course, I went out in nature and walked and walked.
I talked to the Universe out loud. I told it that I was not ready to move and that I would love to stay in this house. I told the Universe that my kids needed stability and that we really loved the house. I also told the Universe that I knew I needed to de-clutter, and I could do so without moving.
I still felt overwhelmed with the thought of having to move.
I walked and walked until I finally felt OK with the idea of meeting my landlord. I hadn’t met him in the 4 years we lived in the house. He lives in the UK and hardly ever visits Switzerland. I’ve only communicated with him via the property manager firm; I’d never had direct contact with him.
See the wider picture
This was a good point to finally be able to meet my landlord in person. I explored other possible, positive reasons to explain why he was coming by. Maybe, I thought, he wants to make his friend the property manager. Maybe this friend wanted to buy the house and keep me as a tenant.
And maybe he was just coming to Switzerland and wanted to have a look around. Maybe he was just with his friend, and not really showing the house to him?
Always concentrate on what you do want
I focused more on us living in this house. I focused on my son running down to the soccer field. I focused on being able to walk out of my door and being in a natural paradise. I focused on how we all have our own rooms, how all the furniture fits perfectly, and how lovely it was in the house. I was uplifted by my love for the house.
Of course, every time my thoughts slipped back to fear, I guided myself back into appreciation and love.
Distract yourself from worrying thoughts
When I caught myself thinking about where would we live, or what do we do with the furniture – if it would fit into the new place – I immediately guided myself back to “What I do want” thoughts. No need to think about moving. That would only send the signal that I wanted to move. It was time to focus on living in this house with the kids and being happy.
And if fear became too persistent, I focused on my business and my new webinars (I have beautiful Webinars on my healing shop).
Distraction is helpful: anything that keeps you away from worry, fear, and guilt is most welcome.
It could be harmless after all
Remember, it could be harmless after all. There might be a wonderful explanation you have not even imagined.
The landlord was scheduled to arrive around noon. At 2, I got a phone call from the property management firm that he was delayed, and would come between 3 and 5.
I ate my lunch, did everything that I would normally do, and just kept going. I had a deep beautiful healing meditation (you find healing meditations on my healing shop) and all was well.
I actually met my landlord the following day (yes another day of worry was added ;-) ) He is a very kind man, and we got along very well. He was just visiting Switzerland and wanted to look at his house and meet me.
So that was it! I wondered why I allowed myself to get struck by fear in the first place?
The ultimate lesson in this for me was that worry is a waste of time.
I hope you enjoyed reading about my detour into WORRY, and I hope you will remember my story when fear strikes in your life, and you can apply some of my advice, too.
Remember to stay away from worry. Do whatever you need to do to stay out of fear mode!
My Transmute Fear into Love Meditation will also help you.
Fantastic post Caroline, and thank you so much for sharing x
Great Blog fear so often creeps out of nowhere and sometimes we don’t deal with as well as we normally do. I try and just sit with it and allow it to surface without attaching a story, that’s the hard part. Oh the stories we tel ourselves lol